Court Trek
by Lady C of NJ
Summary: Lt. Bud Roberts dreams up a unique twist on his favorite TV show This is in a way a crossover story


The usual disclaimers apply here.

Court Trek

Bud's mind was not on what he was doing. He went into the coffee room twice and came out empty handed. On the third try he finally came out with the coffee he had gone in there for on the first trip.  
Back in his office he was sitting there with a law book propped up on a small pile of files. His eyes were reading the ins and outs of a particular law, meanwhile his right hand was busy drawing I.D.I.C.'s on the legal pad. Tiner came to the door. "Excuse me Lt. Roberts, but Lt. Sims asked me to remind you about taking her and your son to the airport." Bud looked up at Tiner. "Sorry, what did you say?'  
"Lt. Sims, Little A.J., the airport" replied Tiner. "Oh, yeah, right. Is it that late already?" "Yes, sir it's sixteen hundred hours. Bud closed the book and then noticed the doodles he had left on the pad. Tiner noticed them too. " I guess you know there is a Star Trek Marathon on TV this weekend starting tonight, sir" Bud loved Star Trek in all its many forms so it was a sure bet that he knew about it. "Yes, I know and since Harriet and Little AJ are going to visit her parents this weekend I will have the house to my self to watch it all." He threw on his overcoat and hurried out of the office.

On the way to the airport Harriet was going over a list of things for Bud to take care of while she was away.. "Now, Bud I know that Star Trek marathon is going to be on all weekend, promise me you won't stay up too late watching it." Harriet was absolutely certain her husband would fall asleep in the living room in front of the big screen television watching the marathon even though he had seen every episode of all the different series many times and had just about all of them on video. "Don't worry about me, Harriet, I'll be fine, you and AJ just have a good visit with your parents."

Once back home Bud pillaged the kitchen for all the snack foods they had and a large thermal cup which he filled with coffee. He had had a long day and figured the coffee would help him stay awake.

The marathon started at 7PM. He lounged back in the reclining chair with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. The TV station started out with an episode from the original series and then played two from the second series "The Next Generation". It flip-flopped back and forth alternating series, one episode from the original to two or three from one of the subsequent shows. Along about 2 am or so Bud's eyes started getting heavy. He got up during a commercial break, got some more coffee and went back to the chair, just as Horatio Jones was showing a bartender a fuzzy little ball called a Tribble. He settled back and his eyes started getting a little blurry, he tried to blink it away, but the blinks got longer and longer…

"Your Honor, I object!" Bud was sitting to one end of a very long table. At the other end of the table was a pair of Starfleet officers in Dress Uniforms. The taller one had spoken, "the defendant is clearly in violation of the prime directive! He transported indigenous wildlife off of a planet where their numbers could be controlled. And now look at what we have!" He pointed to beyond where Bud was standing. Buds head turned to see where the Starfleet Officer was pointing. Seated next to him was a VERY large Tribble. As a matter of fact it was six foot four! Looking back in the direction of the Starfleet pair he noticed that they were both bald and one of them looked suspiciously like the Admiral! The other was most definitely Captain Picard. He looked around the courtroom. Opposite the table where he and the Starfleet pair were sitting was another table. Sitting behind it was… Commander Turner?! Looking very much like Commander Tuvok—gold uniform, pointed ears and all!

Suddenly the gigantic Tribble leaned over and said, " 'scuse me Lieutenant, do you know where I can get some tofu?" Bud shook his head, did he hear what he thought he heard? The Tribble was talking!

Order!! The judge was hammering the table top with a gavel that looked like a submarine.  
"Gentlemen, please remember that you are Starfleet officers not Antarian wharf dingo's."  
There was a stirring sound to Buds left, looking past the towering Tribble he saw what must be his client.  
The guy stood about six feet tall and about three feet wide. Dressed from head to toe in bright blue leather, and sporting an unruly crop of orange hair. "You want dingoes, mate, I can get 'em for you. Horatio Brumby-Jones at your service.

Captain Picard stood up. "Your Honor may I request we recess until tomorrow?"  
"That sounds like a good idea. Court is in recess until nine hundred hours tomorrow.

The Tribble leaned over again and said to Bud…."Good now maybe I can get some vegetable lasagna"

"I heard that!" the Starfleet Chegwidden said. "Lieutenant DO NOT FEED THAT THING!"  
The towering Tribble was already making its way out of the courtroom so Bud had to hurry to catch up to it.

Bud found himself standing in a corridor that looked like a cross between the hallways at JAG and the ones on Deep Space Nine. He was with Horatio Jones and the Tribble, and he was totally confused.

They made their way to a cubicle that was apparently Bud's office. "Now Mr. Brumby-Jones I think I need some more information about how you came about, um, getting this, um, rather large Tribble here."

"Well, ya see mate, when I first met up with him he was about the size of a Martian Kiwi, but I made the mistake of sharing my kip with him."

"Yes, I see, but don't Tribbles usually multiply when they are fed?"  
Horatio Brumby-Jones agreed with him on that issue. "but once this one got airborne he just grew like crazy."

"Well, as I see it we have to make the case that since you are not a part of Starfleet you cannot be held to the prime directive. " Bud believed strongly in the Prime Directive so this was going to be a tough case.  
"Well you know, mate, he probably would have been dinner for one of his planets predators."

Some time later Bud was sitting alone at a table in 10 Foreward when a striking brunette in a blue Starfleet uniform came into the room. She made a bee line to where Bud was sitting. "Lieutenant, I think I have some information that might help your case." Bud looked up and realized that the brunette outranked him so he stood up. She introduced herself as Commander Sarah Troi. "You said you had some information?"  
"Yes, it has come to my attention that the Tribble is the one who should be on trial. He stowed away on Mr. Brumby-Jones's ship." "Do you have any idea why, Commander?" Bud asked. "Well, it seems he always wanted to fly and he loves to eat. He had heard from Mr. Jones about the different types of food in the universe and thought he would go on a culinary expedition."

Just then the Tribble waddled into the room and started moving towards the food replicators. Bud excused himself and moved to intercept the Tribble. "Hello Lieutenant, which buttons will get me some spring rolls or maybe some spaghetti?" Bud gave the tribble a stern look and said "I'm sorry but I am under orders not to let you have anything to eat." The tribble turned around and Bud could have sworn he saw two blue eyes beneath the fur. "OK, ok I won't have any food, but maybe you could get me a ride in a shuttle?"

Changing the subject, Bud told him that they had to talk about the case. "OK, OK. What do you want to know?" the tribble said. "Well, did you stow away on Mr. Brumby-Jones's ship?  
"Do you know how boring it is on my home planet? No Andorrian pomegranates, no Vulcan p'laneek soup and most of all no flying machines, all we do is eat the local vegetation and multiply."  
"So you did it because you were bored?"  
"Yes, now, can I have some meatless meatloaf?"  
Just then Commander Troi joined them. "Lieutenant, are you having a problem with your client?"  
"Not really ma'am, it's just a matter of keeping him away from any kind of food.  
"Maybe I can help you with that" she said. Turning toward the tribble she looked up and down the length of him and said……"It seems to me that we have to make you more presentable. Lieutenant, would you mind if I took possession of your client for a while? I have an idea that might help your case."  
"No, ma'am, I mean, yes ma'am. Yes, if you have something that will help, I would be grateful."

They agreed to meet in a few hours and Bud went back to his table, gathered up his papers and headed back to his cubbyhole office.

There was a knock on the door, Bud went to open it and saw Commander Troi standing there, with a now well groomed tribble. He was dressed in a dark blue garment that sort of resembled a caftan. It had some gold trimming on the sleeves. The tribble's fur was combed back away from the front of that part of it that stuck out at the top of the garment, giving the allusion of a face. He looked a little like a dressed up Wookie. Bud was impressed with the change. "Wow! Commander he doesn't look like the same per…uh the same..uh. Wow, he doesn't look the same". "Let's just hope the change helps enough, Lieutenant."

At nine hundred hours the next morning Bud, the Starfleet pair, Brumby-Jones, the Tribble and Commander Troi were all present in the courtroom. After the judge had taken his seat Bud rose and addressed the court. "Your Honor, while these proceedings were originally called because Mr. Brumby Jones had " he leaned over and picked up a piece of paper and read from it "removed indigenous wildlife from a planet where natural predators could control the population. Your honor I move that the charges against my client be dropped on the grounds a that Mr. Brumby-Jones did not willingly transport ..um, uh Mr. Tribble. Mr. Tribble was a stowaway on his ship." He moved around behind the giant tribble and said "Your Honor, I submit that this is not an ordinary tribble, and as such does not fall under the normal 'Laws of Nature'. We all know that Tribbles multiply when fed and that flight of any kind does not affect them. I am asking the court to extend special circumstances protections to Mr. Tribble. Also Mr. Tribble would like to ask the court to allow him to assume a human name."

Admiral Picard jumped to his feet "Your Honor, I must protest!"

"On what grounds, Admiral?"

"Well, um, on the grou….,um"… it seemed as if Picard was at a loss for words.

"The grounds that he is not human" added the Starfleet Chegwidden.

"You do have a valid point there. Do you have a rebuttal for that Mr. Roberts?"

"We feel that since he has human characteristics, a human name would not be an extreme idea."

The judge seemed to consider all of this for a moment and then said.." Mr. Roberts, we are not finished with the issue of Mr. Brumby-Jones guilt or innocence in transporting Mr. Tribble, as you call him."

"Yes sir, I do, however, have some new information on that. If I may call a witness your honor?"

The judge nodded his consent.

Bud's witness was Commander Troi. She related the same information that she had given Bud earlier about the tribble being a stowaway on Brumby-Jones's ship. She also told the court that she believed he was not  
a true tribble.

"What do you mean by that Commander?" the judge asked.

"Well, your honor it is my belief that he is or I should say, was, under the influence of the planets atmosphere. It caused him to assimilate the appearance of the indigenous population. I also feel that given the proper training and guidance he could become a valued member of any population center."

"We are getting a little off track here. Mr. Brumby-Jones, is what Commander Troi has said true? Did Mr. Tribble stowaway on your ship?"

Brumby-Jones stood up. "Yes, your worship, it is. I only found him when I went to my food locker. He was sitting on the deck next to it. He was already 5 times his normal size and the longer we stayed in flight the larger he got. I got a might worried that he would get too big for my ship so I made a stop here at the space station."  
"I will take all of this under consideration. Court will adjourn until ten hundred hours the day after tomorrow. Mr. Roberts, both Mr. Brumby-Jones and Mr. Tribble are in your charge until then." With that the judge banged his submarine shaped gavel on the table and left the room.  
Commander Troi volunteered to take Mr. Tribble for a tour of the space station so Bud could have the chance to talk to Brumby-Jones alone and see if he could come up with anything else to help their case.

"So, Mr. Tribble, have you decided on a human name for yourself?" she asked trying to make conversation.

"Well, I was looking at some vid-films and there was this one about a whale."

"You're not thinking of taking the name 'Moby Dick" are you?"

"Not a good idea?" he asked

She shook her head no. "How about the name of the person who wrote the story?"

"I think it's too long…Herman Melville. I'll think about it."

Changing the subject he said "Commander, why is it that no one here has any fur on their faces? I have even noticed that some do not have any on the tops of their heads"

She explained that only male humans were the ones with "fur" on their faces and about shaving.

They walked along and she pointed out different things on the station and soon they were back at Bud's office. Brumby-Jones and Bud had just finished up.

As the four stood there talking Troi noticed the tribble shiver. She thought it was curious, but let it go. They made arrangements to meet the next day to talk more about the case.

The next morning Bud got to his cubbyhole office a little ahead of the others. He was sitting at his desk reading his notes when he heard someone enter the room. As he looked up he saw the caftan and knew that it was the tribble, but he was surprised when his eyes reached the top of the caftan…..the tribble was clean shaven!

"Good morning Mr. Roberts. What do you think of the change? Do you think Commander Troi will like it? Is there any chance I could try just a little Gak?"

Bud was momentarily speechless. He shook his head and said…", Good Morning, I was just a little surprised by the change in your appearance, and, no, you may not have any Gak"

Bud motioned for him to sit down and he was just about to when he suddenly ran to the door and looked out of it in both directions. He turned and walked back to the chair and sat down,

"Is something wrong?" Bud asked

"I have been getting the sensation that there is trouble here somewhere. I have sort of a sixth sense about it sometimes. It helped me when I was on Tribulanious. I would have been some Gundaerk's lunch if it hadn't.  
Troi and Brumby-Jones came in just then and the conversation turned to the case.

Later that day Bud and the tribble walked into Ten Forward and headed towards a table. Bud had decided that his client deserved a SMALL reward for behaving himself and was going to give him a taste of Vulcan p'laneek soup.

"Mr. Roberts, does anything look unusual to you?' the tribble asked as he craned his head left and right and left again.

"Unusual? How do you mean?" But before got an answer him the tribble was running across the room.

Bud finally caught up to him at the turbo-lift. "What was that all about?"

"Remember that odd sensation I told you about? It happened again and this time very strong.

"Well, what do you think the trouble might be?" Bud asked

"I'm not sure, but it's not far away."

"I think we ought to let the admiral know about this" said Bud. The tribble agreed and they went off in search of Admiral Chegwidden.

"Are you sure about this Lieutenant?" asked Picard.  
"Yes sir, the Borg ship was spotted less than 15 light years away."  
"and they are just sitting there, not coming any closer, not sending out scout ships?"  
"Yes, sir" the young Lieutenant replied.  
"Alert the fleet, and have all Starfleet personnel report back to their ships."  
"Aye, aye, sir." The lieutenant said as he left to do as he was ordered.

"Commander Troi, it seems that we have a spy in our midst, it would be the only explanation for the behavior of the borg ship."

"I think you may be right. Lt. Roberts told me that Mr. Tribble has had a couple of episodes of a psychic nature that indicate trouble of some kind."

Just then Admiral Chegwidden, Bud and the tribble joined them. Bud gave a quick rundown of what had happened earlier.

"It seems our suspicions are true. I would like you to take Mr. Tribble and start a deck to deck search. You say he has a way of sensing trouble or in this case, the Borg, we are going to put that sense to work for us. What I don't understand is why we haven't seen our spy. A Borg would stand out like a giraffe at an ant farm.

Bud and Mr. Tribble started their search. They had checked several decks and were passing  
Ten Forward when suddenly the tribble stopped short. "He's in there" he said in a very low voice.  
Bud contacted Admiral Chegwidden and within a few minutes there were a half dozen security officers outside the doors. As soon as Admiral Picard arrived they went into Ten Forward one at time and stationed themselves around the room. The last to go in were Bud and the tribble.

The tribble took the lead and walked the room in a clockwise path. As he approached the bar he signaled Bud, who in turn signaled the lead security officer. They closed in on the small female figure who stood with her back to them. The tribble signaled that she was the one they wanted. The lead security officer went around, stood in front of the woman and asked her to accompany him to the security office. She looked at him and said "I see I have been found out. It will do no good to try and stop us. Resistance is futile." The security officer took her by the arm and started to escort her to the Brig. Bud knew then that the tribble was right about her being a source of trouble…..she looked exactly like Lt. Singer!  
"It seems that she was specially augmented so to keep her human looks and still have the Borg connection." Admiral Picard was briefing the group.

"Well, it looks like it was a good thing that he stowed away on my ship" said Brumby-Jones.  
"Yes, but you must be more diligent about checking for, shall we say unexpected passengers"  
Picard replied.

"No worries, mate, I'm not going anywhere near those kind of planets again."

Admiral Chegwidden turned to Bud and said "Mr. Roberts, we have discussed the situation and have come to the decision to dismiss all the charges in your clients case.

"Thank you, Sir"

As for you Mr. Tribble, we have considered your request to take a human name and in consideration of your help we will allow it. Have you decided on a name?"

The tribble stood there and seemed to straighten up. "Yes, admiral, like I told Commander Troi I had seen the vid-film about a whale and the writers name was Herman Melville but that is kind of long so I would like Herm. And since Lt Roberts has been so nice to me I thought I would use part of his name, if that's ok?  
I would like my new name to be Herm Robb.

Bud heard a hissing sound and suddenly everything around him started to fade away

Bud stretched and opened his eyes and found himself in his chair in front of the tv set. Another episode of the original series was just starting…….


End file.
